Your name is [DATA EXPUNGED]. You are the [ERROR] of [FILE CORRUPTED]. You have no idea what's going on, no clue where you are, and what's the deal with this goofy hood? You'd ask someone but the system has rendered your speech dmn nr ncmprhnsbl. Srsly. You assume everything will be addressed when (if?) this thing gets out of Beta.
I swear this didn't start as a doofy, nonsensical pseudo-fan-troll abomination. It was just a head, then plus arms, then plus hood, then plus "lol god tier hood tail", then plus color vomit. That last bit was fun.